“This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?”
In 2004, I accomplished my goal of opening my own studio. I started in a tiny, dilapidated old building with 13 students and an old boom box. A year later I had moved to a 1500 square foot studio complete with two dance rooms, an office, a waiting room, closed circuit cameras in each room for parent viewing, over 100 students, and a competitive team with two Best of Show awards under their belt.
In 2005 I was offered the head coaching job for a local high school’s drill team. In 2008 I won Coach of the Year. I’d found my niche and was loving it.
In 2008 I closed my studio and in 2009 I quit my coaching job. I walked away from the world of dance cold turkey. Just like that. The reasons for that are in the past and personal. But leaving it all behind was hard. Really hard. I cried a lot. For a long time I felt so lost- like a part of me was just gone. I didn’t know who I was anymore. Before, I had defined my life based on dance. Before, I was a dancer, a teacher, a coach. Now, I was just….I didn’t know.
Slowly, over the past couple of years I have figured out just who I am and what I want to do with my life. What I want to do doesn’t have anything to do with dance- but I still miss that feeling. The feeling I would get every time I was in the studio.
Back in August, a lady that I used to teach for, invited me to come take the alumni class at her studio. I hesitated at first but I’ve been attending the class for two months now and when I’m in the studio that is when I feel the most integrated with my body and my mind. It all fits and it feels really good. I’m having so much fun. She’s hinted about me coming back to teach for her again- but I’m not sure that’s what I want to do.
Right now I’m just enjoying being back in the studio again…moving…feeling like a cohesive ME, alive and present.