You guys, this has been a great weekend, but a rough one. My back pain is back. Awesome, right? I’m sorry to bore you with this, I just really need to get it off my chest. According to my doctor, I have trigger points in my upper back. They’re hypersensitive areas of my muscle that can get really ticked off and knot up all over my back, causing extreme pain. As far as what causes mine, we’re still not sure. If you overwork the muscle or have a lot of stress in your life that can cause it, but I don’t think I’m doing that. It can also be caused by sitting at a computer all day- which is one of the reasons I felt it so important to leave my job at the library.
Anyway, I’ve been dealing with this reoccurring pain for over a year now. It comes and goes, but when it’s here, I’m basically paralyzed with pain. Right now, I can’t tip my head or turn it at all. I feel like I’m 80 years old. It’s horrible. I’ve been trying to stay positive, but yesterday I lost it. I got in the shower hoping that the hot water would help and I started crying out of frustration. I couldn’t stop crying. I’m just so tired of being in pain, not knowing why, and not knowing what to do about it. I can’t go to Pilates, I can’t bike, I struggle to teach my dance classes.
It’s just affecting my entire life and I’m so sick of it. I’m going to get back in to the doctor this week and hope that he has something else we can try. I’m pretty over being prescribed muscle relaxers and pain pills and sent on my way. I need real help to get rid of this. Well, thanks for reading my complaints. It’s funny how just expressing your frustrations can help you deal with them.
We went for sushi on Friday night. I’d basically been unable to move all Friday and I think Andy felt sorry for me so he took me out. On Saturday we had tickets to the Big Ass Show. Again, because of the pain I was in, I had to stand at the back the entire time. Ugh! Yesterday Andy cleaned out the hot tub and refilled it so that I can soak in it each night. It’s really only temporary relief but it’s better than nothing.