5 Confessions on a Tuesday

1. We have not seen the Hunger Games yet. Truthfully, I have been reluctant to see it, for fear that it would ruin the books for me. (Much the same way that Kristin Stewart ruined a previous three-book series I read.)

2. I hate shrimp in every form. It disgusts me and the texture makes me gag. I love most other seafood.

3. I am purposefully not taking very good care of a peace lily that was gifted to me, because I secretly want it to die. Shame! I know! But those things get so big and I don’t want a ginormous house plant. Does anyone want my peace lily?

4. I haven’t worked out in three weeks and I scold myself daily about it- but still have yet to get back in to the swing of things. Laziness sucks.

5. I have passed out at the ‘lady’ doctor’s office twice and once woke up with some other ladies’ husband fanning me. Embarrassing much?

What is your Tuesday Confession?
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Some truths on me

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Hi. I’m the girl behind Her Sunday. I think it’s about time that I properly introduce myself on this blog. You see, I woke up this morning and decided to ask myself some questions that I’ve been trying to avoid asking myself for a long time. The big one being: Why am I so scared to be myself?

Let me explain. I live in this weird in between land where I love who I am, (most of the time) but I don’t really know who I am. I’m constantly looking at other people and trying to pattern myself after who they are. I’m always wishing that I was more like this or more like that and I really don’t think this is healthy in the heavy doses that I’m subjecting myself to.I think I can’t really be content with the person that I am because I don’t really know who that is.

I want 2012 to be the year of discovery. The year of finding out who I am and what makes me tick. Not to bore you with more 2012 talk but let’s start with honesty right now- that’s part of who I am. Embracing new beginnings, setting goals and challenging myself. So right now I challenge myself to set down some real truths about me:

1. I’m 30 years old. (starting simple shall we?)
2. I just graduated college with a bachelors in history and have no idea what to do now.
3. I always planning on grad school but frankly, it no longer thrills me. (and that realization scares me)
4. I got married this summer to a guy who is way too good to me.
5. I’ve been married before to a guy who was way too mean to me.
6. Some days I can’t wait to have a baby. Other days I never want a baby.
7. I love my job and my coworkers but despise my boss, who I don’t respect.
8. I’m goal oriented but also extremely lazy.
9. I’m most happy when I’m working in the garden or weeding my flowers.
10. I’ve always been a book worm but lately I find reading less and less enjoyable. (overkill in college maybe?)
11. I want to connect to other dreaming bloggers like me.
12. I was a dancer for 25 years and lately have been contemplating reopening my studio-but I’m scared of failure.
13. I sometimes wish I could go away on vacation all by myself. I love that time with yourself when you are relaxed, free from responsibility and can really find out a lot about yourself.
14. Things that are no big deal make me nervous. Things that should just be funny when they happen, embarrass me.
15. I have a hard time sticking to personal goals once I’ve started them. If someone is counting on me to get something done, then I have no problem doing it. Why can’t I be that dedicated to myself? Am I not worth the time and effort?
16. I love to organize things and I love clean and stylish homes (mine is neither of those things right now)
17. Music speaks to my soul and I can’t imagine a day without it. I played the flute growing up (because my mother and all my sisters did) but I wish I’d learned to play additional instruments.
18. I feel like I can’t breath when there’s no sunlight.
19. I really love food. I need to cook more.
20. The worst chore in the world is scrubbing the bathtub. The best chore in the world is making my bed.

So there you have it. I don’t mean for this post to be depressing in any way- but I want to be real and that means facing things that I normally chose to ignore. I’m hoping that this blog can be my journey to self discovery this year, whether it be through crafting, cooking, gardening, shopping (!), or working out. I don’t want to be a copy of someone else anymore. I want to be me!