I can finally stop obsessing…

…grades have been posted and I did indeed, graduate.

It just feels so great to end on such a positive note and I’m trying hard not to beat myself up about not getting all A’s. It’s not that I have to have all A’s but I probably could have done it with just one or two more late nights. I’ll admit it, I got lazy toward the end. But I’m still happy with how it all came out and now I can stop obsessively checking my student account to make sure that I actually passed all my classes. It’s over! Fini!!!



yesterday was pretty cool




Yep, I finally got my bachelors degree. Everyone kept asking me if I was excited and to be honest I wasn’t. But not because I didn’t think it was freaking awesome that I was graduating. It was because I wasn’t allowing myself to get excited. My college years have been riddled with bump after bump after bump in the road, all threatening to throw me off course- and at times succeeding. Call me superstitious but I was really afraid that if I got too excited about graduating that I would jinx it. I even imagined that right before walking out someone would come take my tassel away and say, “yeah, you’re not actually graduating,” due to some clerical error or some crap like that. So I didn’t dare get all hyped up until they’d actually called my name. When I walked up and shook the Dean’s hand and took my diploma- that was the first moment that I got all jittery inside.

So now the day after it actually feels real….and really good!!


PS- My family, Andy’s parents, and Andy were incredibly supportive and encouraging to me. They are a huge reason why I was finally able to make this happen and I really love them for that.

It’s in the bag!

It's in the Bag

I just took my last final and I feel pretty good about it so I think this semester is in the bag! Looks like graduating on Friday is officially going to happen. I still have a six page paper to write tonight and turn in tomorrow but I can handle that. Can’t believe this is actually going to happen. They even gave me a license plate frame with ‘alumni’ written on it. Woo!!


Roberto Cavalli Croc-effect Leather Tote $530
Michael Kors Python Tote $350
Salvator Ferragmo Knitted Satchel $695
Volcom Fight Night Bag $38

oh hi!


On Mondays and Wednesdays I have a 45 minute break between two of my classes. Perfect for catching up on my reading. Typically I have about 5 books per class to read each semester. This semester, however, I have twice that much due to my literature class. I feel like I’m reading every single second that I can throughout the day. And can I tell you?? I’m really enjoying it.

I should have taken 20 credit hours every semester because it does something to me. It lights this amazing fire of ambition under my butt. I realize that in order to stay alive, I have to stay ahead- not just on top of everything. Something about that sense of urgency really pushes me to work hard.

In truth, I’m really having fun with all these classes. I’m enjoying the reading and I’m enjoying the work. I can’t think of a better way to make my exit from the University.

On top of that, married life is so awesome. It really, really is. I think we’re really doing well in figuring things out, making decisions together and talking to each other. It’s so nice to have an equal partner in my husband and Andy is a pretty damn great husband.  I find that I love him more and more every day, if that’s even possible.

Anyway, enough rambling. I should have been reading about the Kiev Empire but instead it’s now time to head to History of Modern Art. (Personally ancient art is cooler but modern art is a good class too.)


Goings on

My thoughts have been with my BFF, Heather, this week. I wish I could be there with her. Worrying about her and lots of other things have made this a rather sad week. So, I’ve really been looking forward to a chill weekend and some more good news from her and Joe about baby Russell.

Andy is up to his eyeballs in homework which all has to be in by Monday. And me? For once I have absolutely nothing that I have to do. This is the problem with Andy and I having semester schedules that overlap each other. Mine ended two weeks ago and just as I’m starting fall classes, he’ll be finishing up summer classes and taking a much needed break. We never get to break at the same time. So today while Andy is doing homework, I’ll be bored. Oh sure, there are a lot of things I could do- clean the house, mow the lawn, do the laundry- but who wants to do those things? Oh well, someday there will be summers without homework.

We at least got to enjoy breakfast together on the deck this morning.



And last night I made lasagna and Andy took a break from homework to watch a movie with me which was super awesome.


Henry has been quite the show off lately.



And Mauney helped me organize my shoes the other day.


Yeah, I know. It’s insane.


Anyone need some shoes? Because I have plenty to spare. I’m serious. Have some.


That’s about it for now. Next weekend I’m going to my mom’s for a cooking extravaganza. I asked her to help me do some freezer meals for the month of September. I’m anticipating not even having time to breath- let alone cook dinner, so hopefully this will help. I’m actually excited though. I’ll be taking History of Russia, Children’s Literature, Public History, History of Modern Art, History of the Middle Ages, and History of Art & Architecture of China. It’s going to be sweet and sucky all at the same time.

I think it’s time I go enjoy the last bit of summer vacation I have.


Quick visit

I thought I’d stop by and write a post. It seems like forever since I’ve written- only a week, but in blogging time, that is forever. Anyway, I had grand plans of posting pictures from our Memorial Day weekend, but that hasn’t happened. I don’t really have the time to sit down and edit photos right now. Let’s just say the weekend was nice and relaxing.

Remember all my jumbled thoughts from last week? Well, I negotiated with my employer to allow me this week off to sort it all out. I’ve cleared quite a bit of the brain clutter out in the last couple of days and have checked just about everything off my to do list- except for that damn research paper. But I’m working on the paper today. I think the most frustrating thing about it, is that all my source material can only be found in special collections. That means that I can’t take it home with me. So I can only work on my paper when I’m willing to sit in special collections for hours on end. That gets old real fast. In any case, it’s my ticket to graduation, so I guess I’ll suck it up and do it. Two thumbs down.

I had a nightmare the other night that I picked up my wedding dress from the alterations place only to find that they had “hemmed” it up to my thighs- essentially making it look like a lacy hooker dress. I woke up in a cold sweat. Needless to say, I’ll be very relieved when the day actually comes and things go off without a hitch. I’ll be even more relieved when we’re on our honeymoon enjoying some time away from life.

I’ve spent almost every night until 10 pm this week at the studio, working on last minute choreography for the recitals next week. I’m nursing a long term muscle injury (from Feb) in my right leg, so it’s been rough going. I’ve been forced to dance conservatively, which I hate because it just makes me feel lazy. But what can you do? I think I’m on the downside of the pain now, but it’s still not great.

That’s really about it. I need to get back to working on my paper now. I expect that posting will be spotty at best for awhile around here. I always toy with the idea of stopping blogging, because who really cares anyway? I’m pretty sure my bff, Heather is the only one that reads on a regular basis (or comments) and her and I talk so frequently that she already knows what’s going on in my life before I post it. Sometimes it just feels like a big waste of time and effort- like talking to air or something.

on frustrations

I’m supposed to be preparing for a final that I have to take today. I came up on campus because I thought it would help me get in the academic mode. This past month has been hard and I’m not really sure why. I feel like I have a lot going on, but I really don’t. It’s not much more than what is normally going on. I feel overwhelmed but calm at the same time. Still, I just don’t want to face anything that I need to right now. I have decisions that need to be made and I don’t feel like making them. I have projects that need to be done and I don’t feel like doing them. And then there’s the studying. I really don’t feel like doing that.

Honestly, this entire semester has been rough. It’s like my mind has just decided to check out. I can’t retain information worth crap. I stare at my notes and nothing sticks. It’s been a frustrating semester to say the least and my grades are suffering for it. Because I can’t seem to perform at my normal academic level for the past three months, I check out completely. I’ve gone through this cycle of not caring, to stressing out and trying to cram, to feeling like a total failure because I can’t pull it together. I’ve faced lack of motivation before, but this just seems like something so much worse.

And now here I am, smack dab in the middle of finals week. I have my History of Africa final today. I have to take it sometime before 7 pm tonight. I feel just a little bit angry because I was excited to take this class. Yet, because of my inability to get any of the information I’ve been learning to stick, I feel as though the class has been a waste of time. As I sit here staring at my pages of notes, names, dates, and terms, I’m angry. Because memorizing this stuff has never been hard for me. Yet, I can’t recall a single thing from this entire semester. And I keep thinking, what’s wrong with me? Am I just completely distracted by  life and the upcoming months and events that I’m doing this to myself?

I don’t know. Because even when I do sit down with a feeling of determination and excitement to read and study and comprehend, those skills just won’t come. Even reading for pleasure and learning for pleasure, the last few months has been impossible for me. So here I sit becoming more and more frustrated. Knowing, that I have to at least pull a 90 on this exam.

“I miss you.”

“I’m right here.”

“I know. But even when we’re together, we’re not together.”

That’s how it’s been. Mentally we’re each in our own little worlds, just trying to get through with stupid school. It’s very frustrating and I’m tired of it. We’re coming up on what should be the most exciting time in our lives and we can’t even enjoy the ride. That also makes me angry.

Anyway, I can’t really sit here and blog all day-even though I wish I could. I really need to focus right now. It’s just that focusing is the last thing my mind wants to do. If only it would cooperate just for today. I just have to take this test and then maybe I can breath a little…and enjoy pizza with my grandparents on Saturday. Mmmmm…..pizza. No! Think Africa, Brain! Please!

Can I distract you for a bit? History buffs- you might like this.

It’s crazy time. I have only a week and a half of classes left. Finals week is the week of April 18th. Can you believe that? ahhh! I absolutely love that spring semester at my school ends in April. It’s fabuloso- except for the fact that one week later I start summer classes. Yep. I’m insane. I’m getting married this summer, AND writing my senior research thesis, AND working for digitization in the library, AND possibly doing an internship at the Museum of Fine Arts (if I get it.) If I don’t get it, then I’ll only be minimally heart broken. It would be cool, but maybe my sanity can’t handle it. We’ll see.

Anyway, back to crazy. I’m feeling the crunch big time of last minute studying, homework, papers, and projects. I have one class that has been the bane of my existence this semester. Honestly, I’m hoping I’ll be able to skim by on that one. It has seriously been a beast. But I’ve busted my butt in there, so hopefully the professor will take my work ethic and effort into account when he’s submitting grades. So in loo of (‘in loo of’ ha. I’m a dork.) the impending doom of finals week, posting on here will be minimal at best.

King Mycerinus and Wife (ca. 2500 BCE)

In the meantime, I thought I should mention that I haven’t posted on my history blog this semester AT ALL. Why? Because it just so happens that part of the requirements for my Ancient History class was to post on the class history blog. So that’s where I’ve been doing all my ranting about history. I thought I’d give you the link, in case you’re interested in that sort of thing. It’s actually pretty cool as my classmates and I have been posting on topics pertaining to ancient history that aren’t taught about as often- basically little side tid bits about ancient history that are totally cool to history geeks like me. In fact, I just wrote a post about the use of cannabis (marijuana) in ancient burial ceremonies.

Here’s the link:

What Song’s the Siren’s Sang

Topics include: The Romans, The Axial Age, First Civilizations, Decay and Rebirth, and The Greeks.

I’ve still got two posts to write on Christianity and the Empire by the end of next week as well. In any case, I’ll post on here when I get the time. Good luck to any of you who have finals coming up as well.